


Tender Loving Care

by theoofoof



Series: Barson Tropes [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Olivia, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-05-19 20:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14880551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoofoof/pseuds/theoofoof
Summary: Olivia gets injured and Rafael is there to take care of her... (This is a repost of an earlier posted fic. Please do re-read and leave kudos/comments)





	Tender Loving Care

Everything happened so fast. One moment Rafael was talking to Olivia outside the station, the next, chaos. The sound of squealing tires and gunfire ripped through the air. The screams of pedestrians were muffled, as if underwater, as he stood frozen for a split second before Olivia yanked him to the ground behind a parked police car. She pulled her gun from its holster and took up a position behind the car as several other officers burst from the building, their own weapons drawn.

“Rafa, you okay?”

Olivia’s panicked voice rang in his ears, as his chest heaved with terrified breaths. “I’m good. You?” He glanced across and saw a red stain seeping through the ripped fabric of her white blazer. “Liv, you’re bleeding!”

Olivia glanced down at her upper arm. Reaching up to touch it, she hissed in pain. Bracing herself against the car, she slid down to sit on the sidewalk.

“Can we get a bus over here!” Barba yelled, pulling off his jacket to apply pressure to the area.

“Stop panicking,” Olivia told him. “It’s just a flesh wound.”

“There was a gunshot and now there’s blood. Of course I’m panicking!”

* * *

Several hours later, Olivia left the hospital, prescription in hand. Thankfully, she had been right; it was just a flesh wound. The bullet had grazed her shoulder, causing a deep laceration. After it had been cleaned, stitched and dressed, she’d been discharged. Rafael, who had accompanied her to the hospital – and nearly worn a hole in the waiting room floor with his pacing – escorted her to a waiting Uber to take her home.

She fell asleep on the way to her apartment – a side effect of the pain medication she’d been prescribed. Her head dropped to his shoulder and he couldn’t help but reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear.

Today had frightened him beyond belief. He knew that cops put their life on the line every day merely by donning their badge. He knew that, but he’d never been faced with the reality of it until today. When he’d heard that gunshot ring out, he’d been terrified, for himself and for Olivia. Luckily, she was okay, and he’d been there to help to take care of her, but what if he hadn’t. What if it had been worse and he hadn’t been there? What would he have done then? Would he have even found out before it was too late? How would he cope if he lost her? She was his best friend.

He shelved his depressing thoughts as their Uber pulled up at her apartment.

“Olivia?” Rafael gently shook her uninjured shoulder to wake her. “Liv, we’re here.”

“Hmm?” Her eyes blinked open, and noticing that they had arrived, she sat up. “Oh, right. Thanks for the ride.” She went to open the door, but the action pulled on her injured shoulder. “Ow. Shit.”

“Hang on.” Rafael jumped out and rushed round to her side of the car, opening her door for her. He offered her his hand to steady her.

She grudgingly accepted his offer of help through gritted teeth. “Thank you.”

Rafael didn’t take her attitude to heart. She didn't like being fussed over, accepting help. She was a strong, independent woman who had learned to take care of herself and not need anyone. He respected that. He was much the same, except that he needed her. And he was terrified of losing her.

“Don’t worry about it.” He followed Olivia up the stairs and helped her into her apartment. “Home sweet home,” he announced, holding the door open.

Olivia crossed the living room slowly; her knee throbbing from where it had hit the concrete as she’d pulled Rafael down behind that patrol car. She lowered herself gingerly onto the sofa as Rafael hovered, placing her meds on the coffee table.

He looked around, noting the quiet, empty environment. “Is Noah at the park with Lucy?”

“No, she’s taken him to her Mom’s for a couple of days. Just until I’m back on my feet properly. I didn’t want to have to explain… he’s five years old, Rafa, he doesn’t need to be worrying about his Mom going to work every day.”

“Oh, right. Well, at least you’ll get some rest, right?” He lay his coat over the back of the chair. “So, are you hungry? I can make something? Call for take-out?”

“I don’t really feel up to eating right now Rafa.”

“You’re going to have to eat something.” Olivia made a noise of protest, but Rafael cut her off. “You can’t take your pills on an empty stomach.”

Olivia rolled her eyes. “Yes, mother.”

“Be nice,” he warned. “Or I’ll make you eat nothing but vegetables.”

“I happen to like vegetables.”

"No one likes vegetables. Here,” he handed her the TV remote. “Relax while I cook up a storm in your kitchen.”

“Just as long as there’s still a kitchen left at the end of it,” she called back.

Olivia settled back on the sofa, channel hopping for a few minutes before switching to Netflix and settling on a Grace and Frankie marathon, while Rafael busied himself in the kitchen. Soon enough though, some pleasant aromas began drifting through to the living room. Olivia heaved herself up off the sofa and padded over to the counter.

“Mmm. Something smells good.”

He looked up from his stirring. “ _Ropa Vieja_. It was my _Abuelita’s_ recipe.” He gave her a sad smile; thinking about his grandmother still brought a pang of grief, even three years after her death.

“I can’t wait to try it. You didn't have to go to this much trouble though. Sandwiches would have been fine.”

He smiled at her. “It’s no trouble I actually enjoy cooking.”

“After six years, it seems I still have a lot to learn about Rafael Barba. Have I got time to clean up before we eat? I’m grubby and achy. I think a hot bath may help.”

“Sure. Dinner won’t be ready for at least another hour.”

“Okay. I won’t be long.”

“Take as long as you need,” Rafael told her, turning down the heat. “I’m sure I’ll find something to amuse myself.”

Olivia padded to the bathroom and closed the door gently behind her. Leaning back against the panelled wood, she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the events of the day. The local anaesthetic she’d been given at the hospital had worn off and her upper arm was throbbing. She knew she should take some of her pain meds, but she was reluctant for two reasons; taking them on an empty stomach would most likely make her sick, plus she knew from experience that they would make her sleepy. She didn’t want to fall asleep until she’d made sure Rafael was okay. She saw the look of terror on his face when they were fired upon and had experienced his worry and concern at the hospital. If she could just hold out without the meds for another hour, two at most, she was certain she could provide the reassurance that he needed.

She was eternally grateful that Lucy had offered to take Noah out of the city for a few days when she’d heard about the shooting. They didn’t yet know whether it was a targeted attack and until they were clearer on the shooter’s motives, he was safer away from here. Plus, as she’d told Rafael, she wouldn’t have to shatter his innocence by telling him that she’d been shot at while at work. He was still young enough to live in a bubble where the police officers were always the heroes and always won. And Olivia wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.

Shaking herself out her funk, she retrieved some clean towels from the cabinet under the sink before turning on the faucets, allowing the tub to fill as she undressed. She managed to slip her jacket off with a little perseverance, but as she attempted to remove her t-shirt she realised she had underestimated the restricted movement her injury would cause. After several attempts in slightly different ways, she gave up.

Sighing in frustration, she moved to the bathroom door and opened it a crack. “Rafa!” she called out, defeated tears, stinging her eyes. "Rafa?"

A few moments later, Rafael dutifully knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

Rafael entered the bathroom, eyes closed, and arm outstretched to feel his way. “Are you decent?”

“Yeah. That’s the problem,” she mumbled.

Rafael opened his eyes. She was indeed decent. Fully dressed in fact, her face etched with frustration. "I don’t understand,” he said slowly.

Olivia exhaled slowly. “I can’t lift my arm above my head to get… undressed”

A faint blush appeared on his cheeks. “Oh, I see.”

“Do you think, maybe you could…” she trailed off, a feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. She wished the hospital had given her something more practical to wear after they had to cut the blouse she had been wearing to get at her wound, making it unwearable. One of the nurses had kindly found and helped her on with a black t-shirt after she had been treated and it hadn’t occurred to her that taking it off on her own would be a problem.

Rafael swallowed. “I…”

“Please, Rafa. I don’t have anyone else.”

“What about Rollins?” Rafael suggested. “I could call her, ask her to come over and help you?“

“God no! I like Amanda, I do, and she’s a great friend, but I don’t want the squad to see me like this. I barely want _you_ to see me like this.”

“I could call my mother?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them.

Olivia pressed her lips together in a frown. “You know what, Rafa, forget it. I’ll call Amanda.”

Rafael felt like a heel. He regretted the suggestion about his mother almost as soon as it left his lips, but he had been taken aback by her request. The thought of touching Olivia in that way, well it made him feel things he had no business feeling.

Olivia stepped forward to pass him, but Rafael caught her hand lightly, ever conscious of her injury. “No. Wait. I’m sorry. I’ll do it. I’ll help you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

He was pretty sure he would be uncomfortable, but not in the way Olivia meant. He swallowed thickly and stepped closer to her. “I’m sure. Just let me know if I hurt you, okay?”

She nodded, and Rafael moved his hands to the bottom of her t-shirt, gently pulling it up her body. He felt her tense slightly as the shirt bunched under her breasts.

“I won’t look. Scouts honour.”

Olivia snorted, Rafael’s comment lightening the atmosphere and making her forget the stinging sensation in her arm for a just moment. “Were you ever actually in the boy scouts?” She couldn’t quite imagine Barba out in the wilderness, hiking and making fires.

“Well no, but…”

She smirked. “Didn’t think so.”

“Can you lift your injured arm at all?”

“A little.”

“Show me,” he whispered.

Olivia bit the inside of her lip, bracing herself for the pain, and raised her arms.

He lifted the shirt to her neck, fixing his eyes on hers, so she knew he wasn’t sneaking a glance at her bare flesh. “Can you pull your good arm through now?”

Olivia did as he asked, freeing her uninjured arm, dropping it to her chest to shield her breasts from view just in case. As Rafael pulled her t-shirt over her head, the fabric at the cuff grazed her wound making her hiss in pain.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as the sharp sound passed her lips. He was gentler as he guided the shirt off her injured arm.

“It’s okay,” she assured. Turning around she spoke softly. “I can’t reach back either. Can you unhook my bra?”

Rafael swallowed. There was no way he could do that without looking down, and while he may only be faced with her back, it was still bare skin. Olivia Benson’s bare skin. The woman he’d been secretly in love with for nearly six years. This was not good.

“Rafa?” Olivia asked again.

“Sorry, Liv. Yeah, um…”

Rafael reached forward and unhooked her bra. Olivia shivered at the touch of his fingers against her bare skin. He willed his body not to respond as he slid the thin black straps off her shoulders and down to her elbows, careful to avoid her injury.

She held the unfastened bra against her chest as Rafael stepped away and turned off the water. He was almost to the door when a thought occurred. “Um… Liv?” He resolutely faced the door even when speaking to her.

“Yeah?” She’d let her bra drop when he’d turned away but covered herself with her arms when she heard him speak again.

“Your dressing… won’t you need to keep it dry?”

“Oh, yeah. Shit.” She sighed. “Um… Well, I guess that’s the end of that then.” She’d just have to try and wash the best she could using the sink. It wasn’t ideal, but it would be better than nothing.

“No hang on, there’s got to be a way.”

“How? I can hardly fit my entire shoulder in a plastic bag, can I?”

Suddenly, Rafael had an idea. “Have you got any strong tape?”

“Erm… in the drawer next to the kitchen sink, maybe?”

He dashed from the bathroom and returned moments later with the roll of plastic wrap from her kitchen, a pair of scissors and the tape she’d bought once to temporarily secure the edge of carpet between her bedroom and the hallway when it had come away.

“If I didn’t know you better, I’d think that you could soon be on trial for something sinister,” she quipped, trying to ignore the fact that she was stood naked from the waist up in front of her best friend. She held her good arm close to her chest to preserve some of her modesty.

“Hmmm, it would be an interesting experience to have to cross-examine myself,” he mused. “Hmm. Anyway, exhibit A: plastic wrap to cover the dressing. Exhibit B: scissors to cut said wrap and exhibit C, tape to seal the edges and prevent any water getting in. Should work, providing you’re not in there for hours.”

“That’s… quite ingenious.”

“There’s no need to sound so surprised.”

“I… Are you sure you were never a boy scout?”

“I’m sure,” he told her, as he began to unroll the plastic wrap. “I played little league for a couple of years… badly. That was more than enough extra-curricular activity for me.”

Rafael placed the plastic wrap over the hospital dressing on her shoulder and cut it to size. It was awkward, given the position of the wound, but he found a way. Taping the final section in place under her arm, his fingers accidentally brushed the side of her breast. He drew his hand back instantly, with an embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“S’okay,” Olivia assured him, as he repositioned his hands. In truth, she’d been enjoying the feeling of his fingers ghosting over her skin. It had been too long since anyone had touched her in that way and she’d allowed herself to get lost in the fantasy that she wasn’t sore and bruised and that Rafael’s hands were stroking her skin for another, far more pleasant reason.

“There. All done,” he announced, bringing her back to the moment.

Olivia turned back to face him, reaching out to lay her hand on his arm. “Thank you.” She smiled, squeezing his arm gently.

Rafael’s hands reached up and framed her face. “You’re welcome. I’m just glad you’re okay.” He leaned in slowly, deliberately, his eyes never leaving hers. Her lips parted as their faces neared.

Suddenly, his cell phone rang, shrill and loud in the other room. Rafael froze, millimetres from her lips, before pulling back and clearing his throat. “I should probably get that… I… Enjoy your bath.”

He was gone before she could protest, leaving her stood, slightly bewildered, in the middle of the bathroom.

* * *

Rafael picked up his cell phone, both annoyed at and somewhat grateful to the person who had interrupted them. He knew, if the phone hadn’t rung, he would have kissed her; something he’d wanted to do for a good few years now. But if he had, well… there was no telling what would have happened to their friendship.

He glanced at the caller display and, taking a deep, steeling breath, answered the call.

“ _Hola_ _Mami_.”

“Rafi! _Mijo_. I just saw the news. Are you okay?” A shooting at a police station. Of course, it would make the news, as would the fact that an ADA and Lieutenant were involved. He could only hope no cell phone footage surfaced. He didn’t want his mother to see it and he certainly didn’t want to relive it.

“I’m fine.” He drew in a breath. “Liv was hit though.” It was the first time he’d said it out loud and it affected him more than he thought it would.

“ _Dios mío_! How is she?”

“She’s okay, considering. Thankfully, it was just a flesh wound. She’s home but she’s going to need some help around the house for a few days, so I’m going to stay with her. Which brings me to the reason I’m calling. Could you call at my place and bring me some things?” He hadn’t yet told Olivia of his plan to stay, but that was what he intended to do, whether she liked it or not.

“Of course, _mijo_. What do you need?”

Rafael reeled off a list of essentials as well as a couple of grocery items he’d noticed she was short on while he was preparing their dinner. Lucia promised to pick them all up and deliver them to Olivia’s apartment as soon as she could. She was as good as her word too. Just under an hour later she was at the door with a small holdall and several grocery bags.

Rafael took the groceries from her and led her into the apartment. Lucia looked around approvingly; Olivia’s home was warm and inviting; a place for family. She noted the pictures of Noah and asked,

“Is Lieutenant Benson’s son not here?”

“His nanny has taken him out of town for a couple of days. Olivia doesn’t want him to see her… in her current state,” Rafael explained, placing the groceries on the kitchen counter. Lucia nodded, dropping the bag of her son’s clothes by the sofa, as he began to unpack the shopping. “ _Mami,_ there’s more here than I asked you to get,” he observed as he lifted several unrequested items out of the bags.

Lucia shrugged. “Olivia needs to keep her strength up,” was the only explanation she offered. “There’s some of my chicken noodle soup in that one,” she pointed. “It’s been in the freezer, but it should still be good.”

Lucia’s chicken noodle soup, which had been his Abuelita’s recipe first, had been a staple of Rafael’s youth whenever he’d been sick or injured. It warmed his heart that his mother would think to bring some for Olivia.

Lucia helped him with the rest of the groceries, between the two of them they managed to find where Olivia kept most things. When they’d finished, she reached and touched his cheek.

“You look tired, _mijo_.”

Rafael sighed. “It’s been one hell of a day,” he admitted.

Lucia patted his cheek lovingly. “I’ll go, let you get some rest. Tell Olivia I hope she recovers soon. And for God’s sake, Rafi, tell her how you feel before it’s too late.”

* * *

After relaxing and allowing the warm water to soothe her aching muscles for a luxurious amount of time, Olivia managed to bathe, mostly. She reached most of her body with her good arm and, with only a small amount of discomfort, used her injured arm to wash the other. Her back was an issue though, as was her hair. It desperately needed washing. Being in a rush that morning had meant she’d only had time to dry shampoo her hair and now, after today, it was tangled and greasy. She wasn’t sure she could manage it though, given the limited range of movement she had. It was going to be difficult to do unaided. She lay back, resigning herself to the fact that she would have to make do with dry shampoo once again and let the warm water and scent of the bubble bath relax her once more.

As she closed her eyes, her mind was filled with visions of what might have happened if Rafael’s cell phone hadn’t rung. Rafael had been about to kiss her, and she’d wanted it. She had wanted her best friend to kiss her. She’d wanted it for a while now. It was something that spoke to the basic nature of man; to find another like you, to be accepted without reservation, these were things almost all people wish for, search for. Olivia wasn't so blind as to think that person for her could be anyone other than Rafael. However, knowing it and doing something about it were very different things.

Her upbringing, her past romantic relationships, her strong self-preservation instincts, her very nature rebelled against the idea of being so vulnerable. Human beings' advantage over animals was the ability to think and therefore override pure instinct if they chose. A soft knock at the door drew her from her thoughts.

“Liv?” called Rafael softly.

She rolled her head towards the door. “Hmm?”

“Just checking you hadn’t fallen asleep in there?”

She smiled, she must have been in here longer than she realised. “No, no, I’m still awake.”

“Good. Wouldn’t want you to survive a being shot only to drown in your own bath. You need anything?”

She bit her lip, wondering if she dared ask him for more help, or if it would be too much. “Could you… Could you come in here for a sec?”

Rafael hesitated. After their near miss earlier, he wasn’t sure being in close proximity to a naked Olivia was a good idea. But, she was injured, he reminded himself and, taking a breath, he opened the door and popped his head in. His kept his gaze cast downward to the floor, save he see anything that he shouldn’t.

“It’s okay, I’m covered.”

He chanced a glance upwards. Sure enough, her body was hidden underneath bubbles that covered her to the shoulders, but just knowing she was naked underneath the surface was putting dangerous thoughts into his head. He focussed his attention on her face, swallowing as he tried to push those thoughts away. Had he not just reminded himself that she was hurt? “What do you need?”

“My hair needs washing, but I can’t do it with one hand.”

“I… okay.” It had been on the tip of his tongue to refuse, but he couldn’t bring himself to. As they’d established earlier, she had no one else to ask.

Rafael stood in the doorway, hands on his hips as he looked around, considering the best way to proceed. He glanced at the deep ledge at the end of the tub, adorned with candles and bath products. After removing them, he toed off his shoes, removed his socks and rolled up the legs of his pants. He sat on the ledge and slid his feet into the water on either side of her shoulders. Overhead, Olivia could see him rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. He picked up the plastic jug she used to wash Noah’s hair and scooped some water out of the tub.

“Close your eyes,” he instructed softly.

He gently poured the warm water over her hair being careful not to pour it down her face. He repeated his actions several times, ensuring that every strand of her hair was wet, before squeezing some of her shampoo into the palm of his hand. He rubbed his hands together for a second and then began to work the liquid into her hair.

Olivia bit back a moan as his nails scraped the skin at the nape of her neck. His long fingers were incredibly talented. He spent more time than was truly needed massaging her scalp in the guise of shampooing her hair, and only when he could maintain the façade no longer, did he stop. He shielded her eyes as he poured another jug of water over her dark, soapy locks, much as she would do for Noah.

Once the shampoo was rinsed away, there was another snick of plastic and a clink as a bottle was replaced on the ledge. She smelled the scent of the conditioner she used. His hands were back to massaging her scalp. The touch of his hands was doing things to her body that made her glad she was covered by the bubbles.

He rinsed the suds away again and she was about to open her eyes when she felt the soft touch of the facecloth on her shoulders.

“You don’t have to…”

“Sshh Liv… Just relax…” He knew there was no way she could have reached her back and as he was here, he figured he might as well do it for her. That, and the fact that he couldn’t seem to pull himself away from her.

Leaning forward to dip the cloth back into the water, he whispered in her ear. “Sit forward a little.”

Olivia did as he asked, the movement lifting her body out of the water and revealing the swell of her breast. Rafael watched as a single droplet of water slid down her chest. Tearing his eyes away, he swept the cloth down her back as far he could reach. This action brought his lips within inches of her neck. He couldn’t stop himself as he closed the gap and kissed her skin, just below her ear.

She moaned at the contact and stretched to allow him better access. He dropped the face cloth into the water, and his hands found her shoulders. She shivered as they moved slowly lower to caress her décolletage. As his fingertips reached the surface of the water, Olivia’s soft voice broke into the warm air.

“Rafa?” she whispered.

He pulled back, realising with horror what he’d done. He’d crossed a line, one that he couldn’t un-cross. “I… God, Liv I’m sorry.”

“No. It… It felt good,” she admitted with a blush. “It’s just… is this such a good idea?” She wanted it. There was no doubt about that. But she just couldn’t switch off the rational part of her brain.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. He wanted her, he loved her; he’d known that for a while. But whether it was a good idea to take that step, he wasn’t sure. There was a lot to consider; their friendship, their jobs, Noah. Rafael dropped a kiss to the top of her head and swung his legs over the side of the tub. “Get dried off,” he told her gently, towelling off his feet and calves, “and meet me in the living room. We’ll talk.”

* * *

Rafael was serving up their meal when Olivia padded into the living room twenty minutes later. She was dressed in sweatpants and an oversized men’s dress shirt. Barba felt a stab of jealousy at the sight. He knew she’d probably chosen her attire based on how easy it was to dress herself, but he wanted it to be his shirt that lay against her skin. Not some cast off from an ex-lover or partner. He pushed those thoughts aside and concentrated on the task at hand. His Abuelita always said that the presentation of the food was just as important as the taste. She was quite particular about that and had instilled similar habits in her daughter and grandson.

“Feel better?” Rafael asked, a quick wave of the spoon indicating that she should sit at the counter.

Olivia nodded as she sank down onto one of the stools. “Mmm.” She waited until he was looking for something in the fridge, when his back was turned, before speaking again. She was unable to say the next words to his face for fear of embarrassing them both. “Thank you... for your help.”

He stopped, his hand grasping the handle of the open fridge door and stared straight ahead. “Y-your welcome.”

His hand went for a bottle of wine, but then he thought perhaps that wasn’t a good idea, not with Olivia on pain medication. Instead, he lifted a bottle of water and poured them both a glass before joining Olivia on the other side of the counter, perching on the stool next to her. Silence fell between them as they ate; the only sounds the clinking of their cutlery on the plates. They barely looked at each other, staring instead down at their plates, stealing the occasional glance. Rafael inwardly cursed himself for causing this awkwardness. If he had just been able to control himself, or able to say no to her even, nothing would have changed. He told her they’d talk, but now he was a loss for words. He decided maybe he should apologise for taking advantage of her injured state. That instead of being a helpful friend, he’d allowed himself to be ruled by baser instincts.

“Liv, I’m s-“

She held up her hand, still holding her fork. “Don’t. Please.” Her voice was raw, laced with emotion.

“But I-“

She dropped her fork to her plate, the clatter resounding loudly in the room. “Dammit Rafael, I don’t want you to be sorry!”

“Y-you don’t?”

She spun the stool so she was facing him. “No. I don’t.”

“Then what do you want?” he asked hesitantly, not sure he really wanted to know the answer. But whatever she wanted, he’d go along with it. If she wanted him to go, he would. If he had to resign his position, because she couldn’t work with him anymore then he’d do that too.

“I think we’ve danced around whatever is between us,” she waved a hand between them, “for long enough, don’t you?”

“I don’t know, I quite like the dancing,” Rafael admitted, with a half-smile. “It’s safe. Comfortable. And, I’m pretty good at it. At least I was… until today.”

Olivia picked up her glass of water. “So, why now?” she asked, taking a sip.

He looked at her incredulously. “Are you serious? Liv, you were shot!”

“I’ve been shot at before.”

“Not helpful.”

“It’s my job, Rafa.” If they were going to stop dancing around their feelings, he needed to understand, and accept, that.

“I know that.” He paused. “I’ve just never had to see up close like today. Hearing that shot, seeing your blood…” He drew a shallow, shuddering breath. “It scared the hell out of me Liv!”

He didn’t think he’d ever forget those few seconds; between the shot and seeing the growing red stain on the sleeve of her blazer. It didn’t matter that she was still standing – well, crouching, and talking, more interested in his wellbeing than her own, all his brain could focus on was her safety.

She’d seen plenty of people shot in her time on the job; lost some too. She knew that momentary fear and panic. She slid her hand across the counter and covered his fingers with hers. “Rafa…”

“It made me realise that I could lose you tomorrow and,” he turned his hand underneath hers and entwined their fingers. “you’d never know how I feel about you. I can’t lose you. I need you, Liv.” He lifted his other hand and reached for her, cupping her cheek. “I love you.”

She pressed her face against his palm, revelling in his touch. “I love you too, Rafa.” She slid from the stool and stepped in between his legs as they parted for her. She disconnected their hands and reached for his face, mirroring his actions; her thumb tracing the curve of his cheek and then his jaw. She felt his hands settle at her waist and it became clear where this was headed. Olivia hated the fact that their first kiss would be because they were both emotionally raw and adrenaline pumping through their veins, but the thought of not kissing him, was far worse. Leaning forward, she closed the gap between them.

The first, tentative brush of their lips shook Rafael and the interior of Olivia’s apartment spun around them. He groaned and increased the pressure, tightening his grip on her waist. He angled his mouth over hers and, at the first sweep of his tongue against her bottom lip, Olivia was lost. A low, throaty moan answered his request. Her arms slipped around his neck and her hands into his hair as her lips parted for him.

Their lips parted with the need to draw air, but their eyes locked. This had changed things irrevocably, but the love they saw reflected in each other’s eyes assured them it was a step they were both more than willing to take. Rafael’s nose brushed hers as they continued to watch one another. The silence that stretched between them was almost deafening in the understanding that was reached with that look. It was going to be complicated. It was already complicated. But that didn’t matter – they were going to embrace it.

Rafael brushed another light kiss across her lips before sliding from the stool. His hand curled around hers and he drew her with him. “Come on,” he rumbled. He drew her with him towards her bedroom.

“Rafa, what…?”

“You need to rest,” he told her. She was trying to hide it, but he could see she was in pain. He pressed his lips against her temple. “Get settled and I’ll bring you your meds. Then you can sleep, okay?”

“But, we’re not done talking.” There were things they needed to discuss; where they went from here, how they moved forward.

He placed his hands on her shoulders. “That can wait, _cariño_. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Olivia shook her head. “You don’t have to stay. I can manage.”

“I’m staying,” he reiterated. “And I’m not taking no for an answer. I know you hate being fussed over, but you’re going to need help whether you like it or not.” He didn’t voice the fact that he needed to stay for his own piece of mind, to know she was alright.

“Rafa, I-“

“I'll promise to try and not fuss,” he compromised, “if you'll promise to be honest with me and admit when you're in pain or need help.”

Olivia met his gaze, reading the unyielding look on his face. She knew there was no point in arguing with him when he was in one of his stubborn moods.

“Okay,” she conceded. “You can stay.”

He broke into a smile and leaned over to brush his lips over hers. “Get in bed.”

She did as instructed, and Rafael returned a few moments later with her glass of water and pain pills. He sat on the bed as she settled and stroked her hair. Olivia wanted to stay awake, but the painkiller was kicking in and, with Rafael’s comforting ministrations, she could feel her eyelids drooping.

“Sleep,” Rafael urged.

She nodded and closed her eyes, letting her body relax into sleep. Once her breathing evened out and Rafael was sure she was asleep, he eased himself off the bed and retrieved his overnight bag from the living room.

In the bathroom, he grabbed a quick shower – allowing the hot water to wash away not only the dirt and grime of the day but also the fear that had gripped him since outside the station. Once dry, he dressed in sweats and an old Harvard t-shirt and padded quietly back to Olivia’s bedroom.

He found her laying on her right side, her left arm cradled to her body. He slipped into bed carefully behind her and spooned up, laying his arm across her hip and his hand on her thigh. He didn't want to jostle her arm. She hummed and snuggled back into his chest. Rafael smiled and sighed; it felt so good to hold her. He knew it was ridiculous – and she’d kill him for even thinking this way, but somehow, curled around her like this, he felt like he could protect her.

Rafael vowed to make sure Olivia knew he much he loved her. He would show her, as often as he could and in as many ways as he could imagine, just how much she meant to him. There was still much to discuss, but they would discuss it all, openly and honestly, without fear of the other’s judgement. It was how they dealt with things during their friendship and it would continue as their relationship developed. The thought filled him with a renewed sense of hope. Everything was going to work out. Tomorrow may be fleeting but he would not lose her today. This was just the beginning.


End file.
